I dont know how much more I can take

I don't even know where to begin. I am so upset about this whole baby shower thing. I don't even want one anymore.

All I wanted was simple open house were my close friends and family could come and mingle, grab a bite to eat and be on their merry way.

Well, of course, I was vetoed. After all its what every else wants, right?

Its to the point where I haven't talked to my mom in THREE weeks.

I tell my bff that if I can't have my "open house" baby shower, then there will be ground rules of what I want and what I don't want.

She is great. She has been laying down the law and telling other peeps throwing the shower how its going down. But it seems as though people are having problem wrapping their brain around the fact that this is for ME! (I know I sound like a selfish brat) I REFUSE to have games at my shower. I REFUSE to have my shower at a hall or cafeteria. But ya know, what I want doesn't matter. People want games and they want a hall. They want this and that. I don't care what you want. When you have a baby, you can have it your way.

So fast forward to Saturday. I get a call from my SIL asking me if it is OK that SHE invites her boyfriend's mom to MY baby shower. Way to put me on the spot and make uncomfortable. So I stumble around my words and come out with "I don't even know her" Which is the truth. I have met her once in the 6 years she has dated her bf.

So SIL says " well I think it would be nice and she is always asking me how you are"
***crickets***

I sat there thinking, its called casual conversation.
So, as to not hurt her feelings, I said, just email me the info.

This has been bothering me since Saturday.

Last night B calls his mom to get her perspective on it. She kinda feels the way I do in the aspect of I don't really know her. B tells her that I have to cut my list due to maximum capacity at the restaurant. And that I am leaving cousins off the list. MIL objective, what is one more person?

I'll tell you what is one more person. I have to cap my invite list to 80. 80 people folks. I know that seems like a lot. But I have an extended family. And ya know, B's family isn't so small either.
I'm already at 64 and I forgot a huge part of B's family. Not to mention I have a large group of friends that I speak to on a weekly, if not daily basis.
My MIL found it hard to believe.

Getting to the point, b/c this is getting really long.
The end result of the conversation was to invite her to keep SIL HAPPY! WTF AYFKM?

I am so SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of living my life to please her!
And the fact that my darling husband agreed with his mom set my BP thru the fucking roof.
I have lived the past 6 years tip toeing around her and making sure that what I do, makes SIL happy. GMAFB and grow up already.

So of course, B and I get into a fight over it and he tells me that I have to be the one to tell SIL that her bfs mom can not come. And when the shit hits the fan he does not want to be in the middle of it. He is "out of town". Way to have your wife's back.

As if that weren't bad enough, MIL calls back and suggests that I have two showers. That way I don't have to cut the list and everyone can attend. AKA, keep SIL happy that her bfs mom can come.

I want to bang my head on the desk so hard that I pass out and wake up when it time to have Baby Cakes.

Sorry that was so long, but I needed to get that out before I exploded. And if you made it thru the whole rant, kudos to you.

And N, please don't take any of this the wrong way. None of it is towards you or how you are handling things. I love you! You are the best!